No one enjoys being in a toxic relationship and oftentimes wonder what decisions or actions led to the current state of the problematic relationship. But what's worse than realizing you're in a toxic relationship is having the epiphany the toxic partner is you.
The first step in facing this harsh reality is having a sense of self-reflection in your role in your relationships. To get to the root of a repeated pattern is to breakdown the history of past relationships and attribute negative behavior with the contributor.
If this self-reflection has you starting to see your behavior attributed to the demise of your relationships, it's time to consider steps to fix your toxic behavior. If you feel you may be the reason many of your relationships were on the rocks, here are five questions to ask to find out whether the toxic person is you.
Am I self-centered?
A relationship is not a one-way street. For you and your partner to avoid any collisions it's important to make sure you both are equally parallel. By asking yourself whether you exhibit selfish behavior in a relationship you're aware it's not all about you but you want it to be.
Do I cross the line?
Lines are drawn for boundaries and identifying safe spaces in a relationship. If you're guilty of crossing the line in a relationship be it physical, emotional, or mental you're heading into uncharted territory.
Do I use words as weapons?
Plain and simple: Words do hurt. Every relationship isn't perfect and sometimes finding the perfect words to say isn't that easy. However, it doesn't mean that you instead use damaging ones. If you use words to hurt your partner's feelings it's probably best to ask yourself why you choose to say hurtful things on purpose.
Have I made threats to avoid break-ups?
It is never okay to make impulsive decisions during a break-up; that is called a knee-jerk reaction. Someone who constantly uses manipulation to guilt their partner in staying together is controlling, not only the relationship but their partner's personal choices.
Do I get really jealous?
As humans, jealousy is a natural emotion and a common problem area in relationships. The true indicator to determine if you are an extremely jealous person is asking yourself how many times you're guilty of overreacting.
Everything is not always that serious and if you're someone who provokes arguments due to your jealous behavior your relationships will never have peace.
Self-reflection is the start of correcting toxic behavior and you don't have to go through it alone. A very effective way of remedying toxic behavior in a relationship is speaking with a professional relationship coach.
Talking problems out with someone outside of the relationship with the appropriate communication tools can help get rid of the toxic energy you bring to relationships.