Boy meets girl in a bar. They hit it off right away. A few weeks later they move in together. Everything is great. Then the subtle signs of aggression start to show. The girl's every move is questioned. Her relationships with her friends and family fade until they are non-existent. He yells at her, humiliates her and threatens her.
In a heartbeat he turns around and showers her with love and then the abusive treatment starts again. She gathers the courage to leave him.
A few months later girl meets a different boy in a bar. They hit it off right away. A few weeks later they move in together. And the cycle starts again. Sounds familiar?
Are there still any good guys left?
If you're sick and tired of battering and humiliation by the men in your life, you might have asked yourself these questions:
- Are there any good guys left?
- Where are the men that will treat you like a lady, that will treat you like the princess that you are?
- Where are the respectful guys who value your need for independence?
- Who won't look at your messages and ask you where you've been?
- Where are the guys who will give you compliments, not bruises?
Trust me, they are out there. And they are looking for a fine woman like you.
Look towards yourself first
The key is that, before you start looking for your Prince Charming, that you first need to look at yourself. If you have survived an abusive relationship or a series thereof, you may have low self-esteem. Perhaps you believe that you don't deserve a healthy relationship. That's not true. You deserve the best, but before you can get the best you have to believe it.
Be the woman for the kind of man that you want
Have you convinced yourself that you deserve better than being battered and humiliated? Great. Now you have to start thinking about what you value in life. Then you can start looking for a man who matches those values. But, the trick is that you won't find that man unless you start to live those values yourself.
If you value being adventurous and outdoorsy, play the part. Join a hiking or a kayaking club. Buy a mountain bike and take part in races. If you see yourself as a cultural person, go to art galleries and cultural events. Chances are that your ideal man also hangs out in those places and you are more likely to meet him there than in a bar.
Have hope for 2020
Even if you don't have a date for New Year's Eve, dare to dream. Make a resolution to search for your true self, the self that deserves to be loved. Have faith that you don't have to put up with abuse.
Love yourself first, live your dreams and before you know it, Mr. Right will be on your doorstep with a dozen red roses.